The Lonely Island 2013 Album 'The Wack Album' Cover Art, Tracklist, Lyrics

The Lonely Island 2013 Album 'The Wack Album' Cover Art, Tracklist, Lyrics

Tracklist:
1. Dramatic Intro
2. Go Kindergarten (feat. Robyn)
3. Hugs (feat. Pharrell Williams)
4. Diaper Money
5. YOLO (feat. Adam Levine & Kendrick Lamar)
6. Spell It Out
7. Semicolon (feat. Solange)
8. Where Brooklyn At? (Interlude)
9. You’ve Got The Look (feat. Hugh Jackman & Kristen Wiig)
10. I’m A Hustler (Song?)
11. Spring Break Anthem
12. I Run NY (feat. Billie Joe Armstrong)
13. I Don’t Give A Honk
14. 3-Way (The Golden Rule) (feat. Justin Timberlake & Lady Gaga
15. Meet The Crew
16. I F****d My Aunt (feat. T-Pain)
17. We Are A Crowd
18. The Compliments (feat. Too $hort)
19. We Need Love
20. Perfect Saturday

Lyrics to all the songs

Go Kindergarten Lyrics – The Lonely Island Feat. Robyn

 [Intro]

Party people (party people)

We have taken control of your minds (your minds)

So get on the floor (oh yeah)

‘Cause it’s time to kick up dirt, now let’s work

[Hook 1]

Hey – we’re gonna dance tonight, okay?

We’re all shining bright, let the music take you away

Don’t ask questions, just do everything we say

[Verse 1]

On the floor, ladies shake that ass

Shake that, shake that ass, work it, twerk it, drop it fast

Fellas, whip your dick out – whip, whip your dick out

Indiana Jones and whip your fuckin’ dick out

Now punch your friend – punch, punch your friend

Get on the fuckin’ floor and punch your best friend

Your butt look flat – make that shit flap

Use the art of perspective, or hide it in a hat

Go stupid, get stupid – because we said to do it

Go dumb, eat garbage – we goin’ kindergarten

[Hook 2]

Yeah – you know, some of it might seem strange

But don’t think, just obey

Let the music play, ’cause we put it in the song

So do everything that we say

[Verse 2]

Have a motherfuckin’ baby on the floor

Raise it in the club, homeschool it by the door

Now be ambidextrous – fuckin’ ambidextrous

We’ll come around and test you

It’s no biggie on our checklist

Now ladies, whip your dick out – whip, whip your dick out

Don’t ask how, just fuckin’ figure it out

Now make your booty speak – teach that ass English

Make it suck helium and (talk like this)

Now eat the banana – potassium for stamina

Then build a school, burn it down

Get on the floor and do it now

Fuck a house, eat a shoe, all because we told you to

[Hook 3]

So raise your glass, then break the glass

Then stomp your bare feet on the glass

Champagne perks, popping mollies

Middle fingers up, now chop ‘em off

[Outro]

Then pose nude for a family friend

(And never speak of it again)

The party’s here, and you can’t escape

(So just do everything that we say)

Go zombie, be brainless

Here we are, entertain us

Get stupid, go moron

We goin’ kindergarten

Hugs Lyrics – The Lonely Island Feat. Pharrell

 [TLI]: Hello?

[Female]: Hi, this is Bridget, should I come over later?

[TLI]: I'm sorry, I don't know a Bridget.

[Female]: Well that's not what you said when you hugged me last night!

[TLI]: Ha! You think we're an item just because I gave you a hug? Trick, you better think again.

[TLI]

WE. ARE NOT. GENTLEMEN.

Yo - I'll hug a girl like it don't mean nothin'

Then turn around and start huggin' cousin.

I don't love 'em, end of the fuckin' discussion

Got 'em tucked between my wings like Thanksgiving stuffing.

She wanna hug from behind - I did it.

Then her friend jump in; I'm wit' it.

I hug 'em tighter than a tube top;

After that, it's just a matter of time

Before the other shoe drop.

I get more hugs than Oprah selling drugs,

And the drug was pure X - no!, Mary Jo Sex.

Just hugs.

[Pharrell Williams hook]

Don't get mad, girl. We get mad girls,

And we're hugging all over the world.

So don't catch feelings, it ain't love.

We're just the kings of giving out hugs.

And if you wanna settle down, you know you got us all wrong,

So we move to the next one, no disrespect, hon

But you can't hug a rolling stone.

[TLI]

You can't hug a rolling stone cause it'll crush you.

Begging me to hug you again? That's when I shush you.

On an airplane, at a Knick game,

Feel the same damn thing when I hug them,

Which is nothing.

Can't trust them, lose all respect when I hug them.

Now guess who's back in the motherfucking house

With a fat hug for your sweater and your blouse.

Hugged so many ladies, arms shaky and shit,

Because I'm the Wilt Chamberlain of the upper-body grip.

Cause I get more hugs than a batch of puppy pugs,

Sitting on a fluffy rug, getting tickled touched and rubbed.

(OH SHIT!)

Real talk, like you chatting with a fisherman.

Wrap these chicks up like a motherfucking swisher, man.

[Pharrell]

This ain't love girl, because this hug world

Is just a big Game of Thrones.

We be king of the castle, got arms like a lasso.

But you can't hug a rolling stone.

I been hugging on your mama,

Especially when your daddy's gone,

Wearing his pajamas,

I know you thinking that is wrong.

I don't care what some does,

I'm concentrating on her back.

I just wanna hug your mama in her Subaru hatchback.

Put her in a figure-4, yes I'm a hug gigolo.

Now she tells her tupperware friends to let their sisters know...

[TLI]

...that I give more hugs than Atlas had shrugs

(Brush my head on her shoulder)

While your man mean mugs

[Pharrell]

We had fun, girl. But don't get swung, girl

Just because I hugged you raw.

We can do a group thing, bring Sarah and Suan

And we can have a hug-a-trois.

So quit trying to own my hugs

I gave you these arms on loan

So come give me a hug,

The waistline and above.

When push comes to shove,

You can't hug a rolling stone.

Hug yo' bad P, bitches.

Diaper Money Lyrics – The Lonely Island

We been here for a minute now

This some grown man shit

[Akiva Schaffer]

I got that diaper money

I got that diaper money dude

I got that diaper money

I’m a grown ass man

You know, I got that diaper money

Cuz my kids need to shit

So I stay on my hustle

To keep my pocketbook thick

I got papers and papers and papes

All for my baby’s mistakes

Just so my carpets and drapes

Don’t get shit on ‘em

I got that diaper money

I got that diaper money dude

I got that diaper money

I’m a grown ass man

[J-Orgus (Jorma Taccone)]

I got that wife pussy

I got that wife pussy

I got that wife pussy

I got that pussy on lock

I got that wife pussy on lock, 24-7

Whenever she lets me, I’m in sane pussy heaven

And the best part about it

Is no one else can have it

And also I can’t have it

Unless she says I can

I see a girl on the street

And I can’t, so I won’t

See my wife at home and I would

But she hates my guts

Wife pussy

I got that wife pussy

I got that wife pussy

I got that pussy on lock

[Young Sandwich (Andy Samberg)]

I got that grave plot

I got that grave plot

I got that grave plot

It’s right off the highway

Wobble-dee-wobble-dee-drop

Into my grave plot

You afraid of death

Well I’m afraid not

Cuz I got the bomb spot

Right off the highway

I did it my way, a very small percent of the time way

I got my coffin picked out

Styrofoam painted like wood, tricked out

It’s even got handles to lower me smooth

And my tombstone only has minimal typos

Grave plot

I got that grave plot

I got that grave plot

Right next to my dad

[Akiva] I got that diaper money

[Jorma] I got that wife pussy

[Andy] I got that grave plot

[All] I’m a grown ass man!

 YOLO Lyrics – The Lonely Island feat Adam Levine & Kendrick Lamar

 [Intro: Andy Samberg]

YOLO, you only live once.

The battle cry of a generation.

This life is a precious gift.

So don't get too crazy,

It's not worth the risk.

[Hook: Adam Levine]

You know that we are still young.

So don't be dumb.

Don't trust anyone,

Cause you only live once.

Verse 1: Kiv, Jorm, & Andy

Ugh, you only live once,

That's the motto.

So take a chill pill,

Ease off the throttle.

Never go to loud clubs

Cause it's bad for your ears.

Your friends will all be sorry

When they can't hear.

And stay the hell away from drugs

Cause they're not legal.

Then bury all your money in the backyard

Like a beagle.

Cause you should never trust a bank

They've been known to fail.

And never travel by car, a bus,

Boat or by rail.

And don't travel by plane.

And don't travel at all.

Built a bomb shelter basement

With titanium walls.

And wear titanium suits

In case pianos fall on you

And never go in saunas

Cause they're crawlin' with piranhas.

And never take the stairs

Cause they're often unsafe.

You only live once,

Don't let it go to waste.

[Hook: Adam Levine]

[Verse 2: Jorm, Kiv, & Andy]

Yeah, and here's another piece of advice:

Stay away from kids

Cause their hair is filled with mad lice.

There's no such thing

As too much Purell.

This a cautionary tale,

Word to George Orwell.

So don't 1980 force

Any plugs into sockets.

Always wear a chastity belt

And triple lock it.

Then hire a taster

Make him check your food for poison.

And if you think your mailman is a spy

Then destroy him.

No blankets or pajamas

They can choke you in your sleep.

Two words about furniture:

Killing machines.

Board your windows up,

The sun is bad for your health.

And always wear a straight jacket

So you're safe from yourself.

[Verse 3: Kendrick Lamar]

Take no chances, stop freelancin'

Invest in your future, don't dilute your finances

401K, make sure it's low risk

Then get some real estate

4.2%, Thirty year mortgage,

That's important, that's a great deal

And if you can't afford it, don't forge it on your last bill

Renting is for suckers right now, a dependable savings

And you'll retire with money in your account.

Beast.

[Bridge: All]

YOLO, say no no.

Isolate yourself

And just roll solo

Be care-folo

You oughta look out

Also stands for YOLO.

You know that we are still young.

Burn the prints off your thumbs.

Then pull out all your teeth,

So you can't bite your tongue.

Only on this earth for a short time, time

So don't go outside, cause you don't want to die, die.

Spell It Out Lyrics – The Lonely Island

 [Andy Samberg]

Yo! It's The Lonely Island

We got our man Jorm

Kiv's in the house

And me? You know who the "f" I am

And if not, let me spell it out

They call me

dudethathassexwithpigsformoney­butonlyasasidethingrightnow,i'­mjustshortoncashandhaveironsin­thefirebutinthiseconomyit'llha­vetodomynameislenny

(What! What! What! What!)

[Jorma Taccone]

No wait, that's gross

SEMICOLON Lyrics – The Lonely Island Feat.  Maya Rudolph & Solange Knowles

 [Intro: Maya Rudolph and Lonely Island]

Okay everyone,

Welcome to grammar class

Today we're learning about semicolons

Oh, oh, oh

Yes, Lonely Island?

We use semicolons everyday

Can you give me an example?

Oh, hell yeah

[Verse 1]

Get ready for a whale of a time: Shamu

My whole team coming clean: shampoo

These dudes is comic relief: Whoopie

And I'm the motherfucking monster: cookie

When you see me better cross the street: Frogger

Then go home and write about it: blogger

Did I do that? Urkel

Yo Angela, Who's The Boss? Merkel

I'll take you where you've never been: Oxnard

Then make you suck a bulls' nut: ox nard

If Miss Moore married Josh: Demi Brolin

A comma and a fucking dot: semicolon

[Hook: Solange]

We run these streets: stop lights

All eyes on me: spot lights

Each semicolon brings us closer to the top

[Verse 2]

I'm loud and I'm zipping around: jet ski

Your dick is little like Wayne: Gretsky

But Gretsky's got a big dick: clarification

Everyone who's rude to me: Paris vacation

My stomach's getting fat: food

Leave trash inside my car: rude

You're acting all Machio: Ralph

But I'll eat all you cats: Alf

[Hook 2: Solange]

We run the game: umpire

Always chase the night: young squire

These semicolons are my light inside the dark

[Verse 3]

It's right under your nose, semicolon: mouth

Opposite of north, semicolon: south

Right over your home, semicolon: attic

Hooked on semicolons, semicolon: addict

[Hook 3: Solange]

We got the game on lock: toy chest

You're too big for your clothes: boys vest

You know we out of control: no brakes

Your birthday party sucked: no cakes

[Breakdown: Solange]

When it comes to punctuation

You know we're number one

And to the people of every nation

Feel the power of the semicolon

[Outro: The Lonely Island and Maya Rudolph]

Semicolons,

We rest our case

No actually those are examples of colons

You all get F's

Wait, what?

You've Got the Look Lyrics – The Lonely Island ft. Hugh Jackman & Kristen Wiig

 (Yeah, oh yeah. You got the look.)

Girl - you got the look (you got the look!)

You're rolling up in the party with one titty out

Oh girl, you got the whole damn ???

The way your booby be breathing,

It makes me wanna scream and shout, yeah.

Damn, girl - you rockin' that thing.

With no support, just watching it swing.

May be a mistake, but now she just owning it;

"Ay carumba!" titty girl, you Matt Groening it.

I like to think you been looking in the mirror,

Said to yourself "something's not right here;

Time to shake things up!" so you shook one out.

Your hair wasn't working, so you took one out;

A titty.

[Hook, Hugh Jackman?]

You're rocking one solo titty, and that's your right.

Now you're running this city with one sexy titty

All damn night.

She got legs and she knows how to use 'em.

Also got one titty out - sounds so confusing!

Proving she knows how to get attention;

One laid-back titty with no pretention.

A strong choice, or just a mistake?

A strong choice, or just a mistake?

Is fashion really what she's all about?

Intentional, or does she even know it's out?

[Jackman]

Girl, you're the center of attention.

Tell me, is that good or bad?

Cause if it's not on purpose, it would be really sad.

Girl, strutting on down the catwalk,

What will the people say?

I've seen into the future, and the look is here to stay.

[Kristen Wiig]

Now wait a second...

Why's it always gotta be the ladies taking things out?

(Jackman: mmm, whatcha had in mind?)

Something like this - groove:

Boy, you got the look;

Rolling up in the party with one ball out.

(TLI+Jackman: ewww, gross, etc etc)

Oh... yeah, that's gross.

Sorry.

That is not the same thing.

Nobody wants to see that.

I was wrong. I'm a jerk, sorry everybody.

[Jackman]

I'm humiliated!

I'm A Hustler Lyrics – The Lonely Island

Spoken:

Ladies and gentlemen, the Mayor of New York.

Good morning; it's been brought to my attention that many rap artists claim that they run New York - but this is not the case. In fact, I wrote my own song about what it's really like. Please excuse the profanity in advance - hit it.

I RUN NEW YORK!

New York, big city of dreams,

And you know that I run this town.

(I run it!)

King of the streets, ??? concretes,

Skyscrapers on my crown.

So if you want this Big Apple,

Come try to take a bite,

Cause I run this motherfucking city and

I won't give it up without a fight.

Yo, I run New York - it's a pain in the ass!

The city's crowded as fuck, and it's covered in trash.

And the sanitation chief just shoved his shit in my face;

Another transit strike? Oh fucking great!

I can't wait

To have another meeting with the labor union

So the mob can bend me over

And then shove their fucking shoe in.

So I do it so you can sip your pumpkin latté.

I literally run New York, and it's fucking exhausting.

[Hook 1]

I run New York, it's a fucking headache.

It really wears you down.

In this lake of bureaucratic bullshit,

It's a miracle I don't drown.

I *double* literally run New York:

I run the marathon.

Plus I organized it,

So I double-run the marathon.

But no one seems to give a fuck that I'm a paragon.

Instead they photoshop me so

It's looking like I wear a thong,

And laugh at it in my own office when I'm gone.

I went to the Knicks game, and

They booed me on the jumbotron!

Excuse me for trying to help you;

They won't be satisfied until I'm

Locked up in Bellevue.

I guess they don't tell you this job sucks dick.

I run New York and it feels like shit.

[Hook 2]

The chief of police is a major bully,

He laughs at my ideas. (He's a jerk!)

He made fun of my tie last week,

And I had to fight back tears.

Now on the surface, it probably seems like I should quit

Cause I spend every day getting punched in the dick.

But at night I travel down into the subway,

Wearing chainmail, locked and loaded for gunplay,

And battle the gigantic fire-breathing mutant rats.

If I fucking quit, who the fuck would do that?

I'll give you a hint: the answer is no one.

That's why I'm in the sewer dressed up like a shogun.

Because on the equinox, a Hell Gate springs,

Releasing hounds wreathed in the blood of kings.

And no one even knows! They just think I'm a dork.

But I still kill those fucking dogs, because

I RUN NEW YORK.

[Hook 3]

I run New York, it's a shitty gig;

There's no overtime in my pay. (Bullshit!)

I asked this city for a fucking bonus,

And they said "no fucking way!"

So rotten is this Big Apple,

It's crawling with worms inside.

But I run this motherfucking shithole city,

And it makes me wanna die.

I RUN NEW YORK!

Thank you.

Spring Break Anthem Lyrics – The Lonely Island ft. Ed Norton, James Franco & Zack Galifianakas

 [Akiva] Alright Spring Breakers, You know what time it is!

I'm gonna need all the hot girls to come onto the stage right now.

Fellas, let me hear you make some noise!

[Group] Spring Break Y'all!

Kings of the pussy, pounding on brewskies,

Banging chicks right there in the sand,

Bros before hoes and chicks with no clothes and

Slammin' shots and marry a man!

[Jorma]Who wanna do a shot? (we do),

[Akiva]I'm gonna get fucked up (me too),

[Andy]We came for a week, we the kings of the beach,

[Jorma]Spread water on the girls (T-shirt see through),

(Cancun) party down,

[Akiva](Lauderdale) another round,

[Andy](Havasu) crack a brew,

[Group] Marry a man!

Pranks when you're passed out, jokes about roofies,

Making girls kiss, marry a man!

Giant sombreros, show us your titties,

Creatine shakes, marry a man!

(SPRING BREAK Y'ALL! )

Oh shit! I'm too fucked up! Puke and rally, that's what's up!

Booze cruise, raise your glass, snort that coke, off her ass!

Two chicks at the dance hall, take it to the damn stalls,

Trade these beads for their bra!

So-Co in my canteen, got girls jumpin' on a trampoline,

Two men bound by the law!

Trashing hotel rooms, clogging up toilets,

Beer goggles if she's a hag,

Planning the menu, picking out flowers,

Nailing sluts and writing our vows!

Down here it's our time! Springbreakers, let's get fucked up!

Then find Mister Right and get monogamous,

Picking our invite font as a twosome,

Something tasteful but not too bland,

Seating arrangements, charming the in-laws,

Ripping beer bongs, sex with a man!

We'll be so happy, true love forever,

Two kings walking hand in hand,

Promise to cherish, trust and respect him,

Crushing pussy, marry a man!

(Spring... break! )

I Don't Give A Honk Lyrics – The Lonely Island

Nowadays, everybody's using curse words.

Seems to me like it ain't necessary.

Yeah, so when I get steamed,

Yo - I tell 'em like this:

I don't give a honk, I don't give a honk,

And if you think I do, my friend

Then you're wronk.

Your crocodile tears can go and got gonk.

You think I'm a funk, but we don't give a honk.

I'm a wild child and I'm on the loose,

Giving less of a honk than a Muslim goose.

Saw a broken car horn and its honk was faint,

Man if I was Senator, it'd be a honkless state.

Yo, I drove past a rally saying "Honk For Peace",

So I took out my gun and shot 'em all in the knees.

I don't give a honk! You picked the wrong dude.

If a honk was my virginity, consider me prude.

I consider it rude to have honk-spectations,

Only thing I give a honk is a long vacation.

On a long space station, can't hear you scream

And they sure can't hear you honk, know what I mean?

Yo we told you before: we don't give a honk,

And saying that we do is just simpoly ridonk.

You could try to buy us off with your pesos and francs,

But your money means nothing - you could take it to the bonk.

Man, I'm stingy when it comes to my honks (me too)

I literally stick 'em to my body with glue.

Good thinkin' Abe Lincoln, you're a real smart cookie.

Teach a class about giving a honk? I'm playing hooky.

Now what you gonna do with all your honks?

Gonna dive in and swim like Scrooge McDonk.

Cause for a honk I'd bite a chunk out of a Buddhist monk,

And at his funeral, everyone will sing this sonk.

Yo we told you before: we don't give a honk.

Got a theory that we do? Well your theory's debunked.

Save the drama for your mama cause your -itis is bronch-.

Our policy is staunch: we don't give a honk.

You know a honk in some countries is considered a food,

And if you don't eat it all, it's considered quite rude.

We all know we're born with 100 honks,

But people throw 'em away like they were Donkey Konks

And the honks are the barrels.

The kings and the pharaohs sing about honks

Like they were Christmas carols.

I'll punch you in the jeans,

But this ain't Lonely Island.

And if I catch you steaming my honks,

I'll get violent.

Yo we told you before: we don't give a honk,

Even if you give us candy like Willy the Wonk.

But don't come for my honks, better know your place.

Mother-honkers honk around and get honked in the face.

This the not honking around crew,

And this not honking around thing is about to go both ways.

I Fucked My Aunt Lyrics – The Lonely Islan ft. T-Pain

How does this work?

[Hook: Jorma]

Damn

I fucked my aunt

I can't believe I fucked my aunt

I fucked my aunt y'all

[Jorma]

I was thirteen, skinny little freckle-faced kid

Growing up in the country felt like doing a bid

But the summers were my favorite when we swam in the lake

And trips to the city, what a magical place

First baseball game, man, I'll never forget

Crackerjacks, bleacher seats and the crack of the bat

My friend Tim caught a ball, but he gave it to me

And five years later, I fucked my aunt, damn

[Hook: Kiv]

I fucked my aunt

I can't believe that I fucked my aunt

Man, I really fucked my aunt

I fucked my aunt, y'all

[Kiv]

Rainstorms always give me the blues

Worst one in ten years on the evening news

She rode her bike over cause the streets was closed

My aunt standing there in soaking wet clothes

We opened some wine and laughed like kids

She told me funny things that her and my mom did

But then my uncle called and she had to go

And twelve years later, I fucked her sister, damn

[Hook: Andy]

I fucked my aunt

Can you believe that I fucked my aunt?

Man, I guess I fucked my aunt

I fucked my aunt, y'all

[Andy]

It was my eighteenth birthday, the world was still new

My parents threw me a party as parents will do

My uncle's wife gave me a punny gift

It was an ant farm; man, she was a trip

Later that night I was up in my room

I watched as the small ant community bloomed

So simple, yet so complex

I contemplated my own life and wondered what would come next

I took out my favorite ant and crushed it with my dick

And also, I fucked my aunt

[Hook: Andy]

Damn, I fucked my ant

And I fucked my aunt

Man, we fucked our aunts (yeah)

We fucked our aunts, y'all

[T-Pain]

Oh, I can't believe it... they fucked their aunts

I mean, I fucked my aunt, too, but you don't see me making songs about it

Although we technically didn't have sex

Just some above the clothes stuff

And some under the clothes stuff

I mean, what is sex, really? Is it just penetration?

Or do you have to finish? Cause I finished...

(Damn, I fucked my aunt, y'all)

We Are A Crowd Lyrics – The Lonely Island

One! Two!

One two, one-two-three-

[X2]

We are a crowd and we are loud.

We're cheering as a group

At our favorite event.

We're gonna cheer cause we are here.

With all of us together,

We have nothing to fear.

Now all of the ladies say WOO (woo!)

And all of the fellas say CROWD (yeah!)

We're drinking beer and doing cheers.

Be [???] like us for millions of years.

We are all here, we're not at home.

As long as we're together, we can't be alone.

We are a crowd and we are loud.

We're cheering as a group at our favorite event.

We are not one, we are a ton.

There's safety in numbers, so now it is fun.

We are a crowd crowd crowd,

Yes we are a crowd.

And so we shout shout shout,

Because beer is allowed.

And there's no doubt doubt doubt

That we're helping out

Because without-out us there would be no crowd.

WE ARE A CROWD!

The Compliments Lyrics – The Lonely Island ft. Too Short

 [Too $hort]

Ladies, listen up - this song is for you.

You know it's hard out there to find a dude,

But The Lonely Island's got three top-notch brothers.

So sit back and listen while they compliment each other.

[Andy]

My man 'Kiv is the shit.

Dude is thoughtful as fuck, plus his body is ripped.

He's a good listener even when he's exhausted,

And he's crazy hygienic, always brushing and flossing.

But that ain't nothing compared to my main man Jorm',

The most sensitive, caring dude I've ever known.

He's got that sweet smile, he's got that slow touch.

What's the sweet smell? Oh shit, he cooked you brunch!

[Jorma]

But hold up, my man Andy's got us both beat!

He makes a skinny margarita that's a wonderful treat.

Plus caramel eyes that are hella disarming.

He ain't no fucking Prince - my man is King Charming.

[Andy]

Jor' you're far to kind, and speaking of kindness,

My man 'Kiv's been diagnosed with colorblindness.

He loves all people, plus he's got the fat dick;

It's like a gold prick, all shiny and thick.

[Too $hort]

When they pitched me this song, they were kinda vague.

But I said "fuck it, I'm in" cause they said I'd get paid.

One thing's for sure, these dudes are weird motherfuckers.

So sit back and listen, watch 'em compliment each other.

[Akiva]

My man Jorm' fucks all night.

Call him Super Mario, cause he be laying the pipe.

He got the eye contact like only you in the room.

A modern-thinking man, he ain't afraid of a broom.

[Jorma]

Yo, you talking feminism? Andy loves that shit.

Plus the femme fatales love him cause he's got good dick.

And he's a giver: donates hella money to charity.

He's also got a great sense of humooooooor - that's personality.

[Andy]

I hate to interrupt, but I gotta interject.

'Kiv grinds his own espresso, has his own panini press.

[Jorm]

'Kiv! So loyal when he makes his pack,

That he'll only think of you when he's jacking his dick.

[All]

He's a shoulder to cry on when you're down in the dumps.

He's an outfit to try on when you need a slam dunk.

He's an extra stirring hand when you're making a soup.

Take a ride in his coupe, he makes you wanna shoop.

[Too $hort]

I'm starting to suspect that these dudes are gay.

It's none of my business, they just born this way.

I mean, how many times you gon' mention your homie's dick

But still try to act like this song is for chicks?

So ladies be warned before you hop under the covers,

They might be fucking you but they'll be thinking 'bout each other.

The compliments, bitch!

We Need Love Lyrics – The Lonely Island

 [Conversation between two men - slashes will represent relevant changes in speaker]

Hey, what a great day for a swim. / Yeah. Why are you wearing a shirt? / Too many hickeys on my neck. / Oh. The girl I was with last night scratched my back. / So you've also been having sex. / Yeah.

[Rapping]

We need love, not meaningless sex.

You've got a round butt? We're not impressed.

So many girls wanna get in our pants,

But we're not whores. We need romance.

Hey girl (girl), you look good.

I want you to know that I would - do you.

Frequently. Like riding my hog, it's nothing to me.

You're wearing a bra, but soon you won't.

Call me the magic man: now you see it, now you don't.

When it comes to foreplay, I can take for hours.

Say "Do I make you horny, baby?" - Austin Powers.

My ocean's got motion, but also girth;

The closest thing you'll feel to giving birth.

I'm a butt man / and I like boobs.

Put them together, and we like you.

I don't care that you're overweight.

I see your soul, and you look great.

We love all colors, shapes, and sizes,

Except Steve's new girlfriend, who's a fucking slut!

We need love, not meaningless sex.

You've got a round butt? We're not impressed.

Just two Don Juans looking for amour;

It could be you if you're not a whore.

I'm Guy #1, I'll massage your back.

Or if you prefer, I'll squeeze your rack.

If it's your time of the month, I'll call it a night.

I'm Guy #2, I don't run red lights.

If I was with you, I'd need at least 10 rubbers.

Your poo-tang stank, I don't need another lover.

/ I wear condoms too, but when they break, it's bad.

Take you to the clinic, I can't be no dad.

Cause we're the freaks of the industry.

You a freak, Guy 1? / Oh you got that, G.

What about you, Guy 2? / Yes. Me. Too.

I always get consent before I screw.

I'm not a guy who's gonna rape you.

Champagne, waterbed, satin covers;

There you have it - another satisfied lover (x5)

We need love, not meaningless sex.

You got a round butt? We're not impressed.

We're two Cassanovas, not pieces of meat.

But pull down our pants, you'll like what you see.